On Sunday March 24, EIC hosted its first Tabletop RPG night. 8 members came together to test the game format (3.5e) and begin the soon to be regular game of DnD. You can find a brief humorous and entirely too flattering to the members involved write up below.
But first, an introduction to the major players and a quick word about if you would like to join.
If you want to join, jump into our discord and announce yourself as a prospective player. Our fearless leaders will get you set up in no time at all.
and now to meet the idiots you will soon be hearing so much about.
"THE DM", game run by HK (DM is a self-styled god struggling horribly against the true power of drunken fate and capricious plastic cubes)
Yortle Yortleson IV, Tortle Paladin played by Horatius (Tortle is a turtle person)
Burb Bumblefeather, Kenku Rogue played by HeliosVega (Kenku is a bird person)
Salem Shimmer, Tibbit Warlock played by Kharakian (Tibbit is a WereHouse Cat)
Black Arrow, Human Ranger played by Swift Arrow (Human is a...... Human)
Neb, Death-Touched Sorcerer played by WizardZombie (Death-Touched is a human with 1 undead parent)
Krusk/Kurst(Depending on who’s saying the name), Half-Orc Fighter played by Mayhem000 (Half-Orc is a big brutish green body builder)
Gavin Cinderfoot, Fire Gnome Sorcerer played by B. A. Baracus (Fire Gnome is a hobbit who’s native to the elemental plane of fire)
AND NOW OUR STORY BEGINS
(TL;DR at the end)
Our enthusiastic adventurers began their late afternoon adventure with a decision to sit down in a roadside tavern in “Generic Small Village #8572.” What began as an evening of copious drinking and discussions with the larger then average tavern keeper unexpectedly escalated into confusion and terror as the taverns fireplace suddenly began expelling 10 tiny fire elementals, and 2 almost human sized elementals. “You have 2 days to bring tribute to Stone Giant Tower or we will burn down this town.” With that message stated, the elementals then tried to burn down the town. With the confusing exposition and actions from the elementals, Black Arrow decided to ignore them in favor of trying to order more ale from the tavern keeper, and was immediately beset by 2 of the tiny elementals who thought him easy prey with his back turned. When he realized the danger that he was in, he whipped out his crossbow.... and immediately accidentally shot himself in his own foot, pinning hisself to the ground and leaving him at the mercy of his attackers. After wrenching his own crossbow bolt out of his foot, he got some much needed assistance from the large tavern keeper, who grabbed him from behind the bar and threw him to safety, which was a pile of potato bags behind the bar. Seeing his fellow adventurer in danger, Yortle sprang into action and engaged with both of the larger elementals, fighting valiantly to save his party members and the innocents in the bar. Salem, deciding that discretion was the better part of valor for the moment, stayed under the table with his mug of ale until the time was right to strike(Kharakian was late to the game a bit)
Krusk, enraged that his drinking time was being interrupted, rushed in with his great axe swinging, felling 2 of the tiny elementals before they even had a chance to act. Burb acted fast with Krusk’s distraction, jumping onto the bar itself and taking cover behind a surprisingly larger then average fruit bowl, raining death on the elementals with his trusty hand crossbows. Gavin, with his mighty fire magic, unadvisable to use at the time,, pulled out his own crossbow from the table and shot dead one of the tiny fire elementals. Neb, also unwilling to use his magic in such confined quarters, used yet another crossbow and struck down another elemental. With the company rallied and fighting, with a small amount of help from the tavern keeper and a patron of the bar wielding mugs of ale, the elementals were all quickly dealt with, and their confusing message being pondered upon. With directions given and copious amounts of fruit bought from the tavern to supplement their travel rations, the company set out to Stone Giant Tower to solve the mystery.
On the road, as the day grew dim and turned into night, the party walked through the dark woods following the directions they had been given. As they walked and talked loudly, they drew the attention of a pack of hungry wolves, who jumped out of the bushes and attacked the company. Neb, Salem, and Gavin, no longer constrained, unleashed their magical might, striking down two of the wolves immediately and scaring another off. Yortle was unwilling to immediately strike down the animals and let the one trying to attack him gnaw uselessly on his heavily armored forearm as he tried to calm the beast. Black Arrow, of a similar mindset to Yortle, used his familiarity with nature to calm one of the wolves, and then angered it again by attacking another of its pack. Krusk used his mighty axe to cut one of the wolves nearly in half with a single swing, and then used his great strength to rip a piece of the fallen wolf off as a macabre souvenir. Burb took to the trees and bushes, discovering another wolf hiding in wait and laying into it with his 2 hand crossbows. With most of the wolves slain or wounded, Neb tried to scare with rest off with a sudden burst of bright light, but due to the chaos of the battle instead of casting the spell on a nearby tree as intended, he cast it directly in front of his own face leaving him blinded and flailing. Hearing the battle still going on and wanting to help the company, Neb cast another spell, one that would drain the very strength out of the one it hits. Unfortunately due to his blindness, instead of striking the wolf he intended, he instead struck his own companion Krusk, draining the half-orc of most of his might. Even with the unfortunate bout of friendly fire, the company quickly dispatched the rest of the wolves, and rested for the night to regain their strength for the coming battles.
The next morning found the company near the goal, Stone Giant Tower. The only obstacle left in their way was a river, 20 feet wide and rushing fairly rapidly, with only an old bridge left in disrepair to get them across. Salem showed his craftiness quickly, turning into his animal form, that of a fluffy and furry house cat, and darted across the old bridge with ease. Krusk, who hadn’t known of his companion’s ability, wanted to pet the kitty, and chased after across the bridge. With his weight and lack of caution the bridge broke partially beneath him, leaving him with his leg stuck through into the water below. His strength was great enough to haul himself out of danger and onto the shore with his cat companion, the others still left on the far bank. Ignoring the shout that he couldn’t understand Krusk continued to try and pet his fluffy companion, much to Salem’s dismay as the goblins who had just shouted sprang out and attacked. Displaying more of his magical might, Salem cast a spell that shattered the crossbow one of the nearby goblins was using, leaving it stunned and prone. With another display of his magic, Salem flash stepped back across the river to the rest of his companions, leaving Krusk the only one with the goblins. Yortle dove into the water immediately, knowing his innate turtleiness would let him swim even in his heavy armor, and he quickly joined Krusk, who was in little danger as he easily eviscerated 2 of the goblins with barely any effort.
Black Arrow jumped onto one of the rocks in the river, hoping to bypass the decaying bridge entirely, his memories of goblin raids and attacks fresh in his mind. Distracted as he was with his hatred of goblins, his attempted jump to the next rock didn’t go quite right and he slipped , falling straight into the river and becoming submerged almost instantly. Unaware of their companions plight Salem, Neb, Burb, and Gavin unleashed death upon the goblins with a combination of crossbows and spells. With the last of the goblins that they could see dealt with, Salem finally spotted Black Arrow being swept away by the river and alerted his companions. Krusk was quick to try and help, grabbing onto one of the rocks near the shore and reaching into the water to try and grab Black Arrow. But with a combination of his heavy armor and the wet rock he was holding onto, he too fell into the river, sinking deeper then even Black Arrow had. With 2 of their companions now in the river, Burb darted across the bridge with ease, his great skill allowing him to avoid the worst of the broken parts, and he quickly pulled his rope and grappling hook. Looping the rope around some nearby rocks for support he threw the grappling hook directly into Black Arrows chest despite his target being submerged. Grabbing onto the rope with all of his might Black Arrow began hauling him self towards the surface and much needed air, but in his haste his flailing attempts to pull himself up the rope caused said rope to snap, dropping him back down to the bottom of the river. Meanwhile Yortle was once again swimming in the water, desperately grabbing onto
Krusk and attempting to haul his heavy friend up to the surface with little success. Managing to get himself across the river,
Neb began searching the nearby bushes for more foes, and found another goblin huddled in fear. The goblins rambling and non-sensical responses to his questioning leaving much to be desired, Neb dispatched the goblin with a pair of arcane missiles to the chest and head. Gavin and Salem, who had once again assumed his humanoid form, began running down the river to try and save their companions if Yortle and Burbs efforts proved wanting. But finally, with Burbs, Nebs, Yortles, and the last bit of rope left they managed to haul Krusk back onto dry land. One of his companions finally safe, Yortle dove once more into the river to retrieve Black Arrow, who had washed a bit further down the river. Through their combined efforts, as well as Krusk after a few much needed gulps of air, they managed to finally haul Black Arrow back onto the shore. With their companions finally safe, Salem once again darted across the now mostly destroyed bridge and Yortle began swimming Gavin across, with a bit of difficulty due to his fiery nature and general aversion to all things water. With the tower in sight and a difficult crossing finally mastered, the company set down to rest one final time before confronting the mystery that was Stone Giant Tower.
(TL;DR, the company fought and killed a bunch of fire elementals, went on a quest, fought and killed some wolves, killed all the goblins who ambushed them, and then through a combination of being drunk and hilariously bad rolls almost lost a few members to a river that truly was their greatest foe!)